1. She has bought a vacuum cleaner. And then she has brought a broom.
2. None of her friends has come to your home through the doors. And none of them has left your home through doors.
3. You are too much sure you know exactly how much money she has left.
4. By some strange reason you really want to give her all your salary.
5. She says there must be 78 cards and 2 is bigger than ace.
6. She never goes to church, but has lots of candles.
7. She has green eyes. On Fridays.
8. 2/3 of what she is cooking has nothing to do with food.
9. She takes shower before to get dirty. In dust, clay, paint, wax. Not after.
10. Before to cut a tree branch, she wants to make it an anesthesia.
11. You had sex during the whole daynight and she is still alive.
12. You had sex three daynights in a row and you are still alive.
13. Your home is full of bowls with milk and porridge, but there are still no ants around.
14. She starts to read any new book from the table of contents.
15. You’ve spent a whole day in the toilet after taking a sip of her tea.
16. Your neighbours save up moneyfor a new car, but you – for a shamanic tambourine. Which is twice more expensive than a car, by the way. And you think it was your own idea.
17. She is silent when you try to argue with her.
18. She has dissappeared from the house five minutes before you mom accidentally drops by your house for a cup of coffee.
19. You have forgotten what dust looks like. But you know perfectly what is soot.
20. You are not sure exactly how mamy cats you’ve got.
21. ..And some part of them are actually dogs..
22. She changed her last name since your wedding. And first name too. Several times.
23. She doesn’t smoke but always has matches in her pocket.
24. You have never gifted her perfume.. by her request.
25. She writes poems and shows them to noone.
26. You have no enemies. Anymore. Not even one. Alive.
27. She may want to go for a walk at 3 AM. Alone. In winter.
28. Your sons friends tried to hook her up. At some disco.
29. You feel seasick immediately if think about any other woman.
30. She has made a bonefire twice faster than your hiking instructor.
31. She takes it as a compliment if someone calls her a witch.
32. When someone tells a story and ends it saying “and everybody died”, she asks with curiosity “and what happened next?”.
33. She hangs any gifted flowers upside down.
34. She orders the steak with blood, but asks the blood to be served in a glass.
35. She says “lies! it never happened!”, when watching Lord Of The Rings.